Caveat to Impertinent Answers

I've got a few thoughts to add to my previous post. I understand the curiosity of our situation being married for nine years and not having children. I get it that we're an anomaly.

I want to point out that neither TC nor I have answered anyone with so much sarcasm (although we've been tempted at times). Our answers to such inquiries are benign and polite, even when the questions are neither benign nor polite, such as inquiries that come from random RS president type older ladies at church who stop TC in a hallway full of people and tell him, "You're smart. Why don't you have kids?" (To her credit, this particular lady has said a variety of tactless things to a variety of different people, so this is not one isolated incident aimed directly at us.)

But what I realized based on your responses is that people stick their noses into people's private matters all the time, whether you're married or not, whether you have children or not, whether you've been married for one year or fourteen, no matter your circumstance. People who lack tact, lack decorum, who lack the sense of when to mind their own business are a fact of life.

And when I think about it, honestly sometimes I'm that person who sticks their nose where it doesn't belong. Sometimes I'm the person who has an opinion on matters that have nothing to do with me for which I don't have all the information. But having people up in our business certainly has made me more sympathetic and understanding toward others who are also anomalies like us.

So there you have it: my caveat. All that being said, I really enjoyed reading your responses. So many of us have waited for our families to grow for one reason or another. And if that hasn't been the challenge, then something else has. As Barbara said, "everyone has some miserable cross to bear." But at least there are some of us out there who understand each other.

Impertinent Answers

My friend Jenni's recent post got me thinking about personal questions and how to answer them.

Being married for nine years without any growth in our family (other than our personal growth both inside and out), you can imagine that we've been asked a few times when we will have children, or why we don't have children, that the prophet said not to wait so why are we waiting, or, my favorite, if we know HOW to have children.

So to help all of you out there who might have been thoughtlessly put in the uncomfortable situation of being expected to answer such a question here are some possible responses TC and I have come up with.

-Why don't you talk to "Mrs. Always Has a Headache"? *with disdain*
-Why don't you talk to "Mr. Shoots Blanks" over there? *with disdain*
-It's not for lack of trying, if you know what I mean. You know what I mean? Huh? Do you?
-It's a funny story actually. Let me tell you about our honeymoon...
-But then I would have to stop binge drinking!
-Well if "Mr. Low Sperm Count" could do his part...
-But going to the DTD is so icky!
-We've been snuggling like crazy and still nothing, I mean like every day a couple of times a day. We've even tried doing it in different ways and watching instructional videos. I just don't get it. Do you have any suggestions on technique?
-Some people have AIDS, some people have gonorrhea. We just don't have kids. (Courtesy of the Brother of Jared)
-To have children you have to have sex. We don't do that. (Courtesy of Elena)


If any of you have some of your own to share, please do. We'd love to read them.

Grow!! BLOOM!!

I've had this gardenia plant since late summer, and still it has not bloomed. And I'm sick of it. Seriously. BLOOM! I am willing you to grow flowers and smell fragrant and be lovely! But no, all you do is sit there and be green, which is lovely, but not lovely enough for me. You just don't measure up.

This plant couldn't even bloom for my birthday. Why I make up these extravagant and unrealistic birthday miracle wishes that never come true leaving me with disappointment, I'll never quite understand. But I got it in my head that it would be lovely if this plant, by some miracle, knew it was my birthday and bloomed. But it didn't. And can you blame it?

Wikipedia tells me that it's a tropical plant that loves humidity. I live in a desert, which is drier in the winter, and I had the plant across from the heating vent, which kept it nice and dry. I watered it every time I remembered, which was whenever I walked into the room it was in and saw that it was drooping and near death. I did my part. *cough*

Okay, so maybe I don't deserve to see this plant flower with the way I've "cared" for it. But I love gardenias more than any other flower in the whole world. Would it kill this plant to bloom in unlikely conditions earlier than is typical?

It keeps teasing me with these little buds.








I think, "Oooh, this could be the one that flowers." But it grows into a stupid new leaf. Stupid new leaves...

Just bloom and grow forever, little plant. If you do, I promise I will be fleetingly happy, for at least the life of your flower. Then I will likely forget that you exist and only water you when TC reminds me that you are near death. Please? For me?

Meet Fernando

He is beautiful, no? Nordstrom Rack is a dangerous place for me, much like DSW. There are so many beautiful things to see and they are so amazingly discounted and higher quality than comparable items at other places I frequent (which will remain nameless). I can spend 4 hours there, on my feet in 4" heels, and only feel slightly exhausted during (after is a whole different story however, because after a shopping rampage like that, well let's just say that a girl needs her beauty rest, and I need a lot of beauty rest).

So I met BCBG Fernando at the Rack. I also met a pair of denim trousers that I'd been looking for for quite a while now, and some other lovely items. But Fernando and I couldn't be separated. And TC fully understood my love for Fernando, and fell in love with him too even more after he calculated the price after the 35% discount, so he encouraged me to take him home.

With my birthday breakfast coming up, I think I know of the perfect ocassion for Mr. Fernando to meet the rest of my family.

Solution to Project ADD

By the end of my last post I felt I had found a solution to my ADD. And after having tried it out, I think I really have found THE solution (for me at least).

I made a list. Like so many of us ladies, I love lists. The only thing I love more than making lists is crossing things off said lists. It's a beautiful, fulfilling thing, and I'm addicted. So I made a list of the projects I'm working on and would like to work on. I gave each project an arbitrary deadline, wrote up a "to do" for the project and estimated how many hours it would take to complete. I also listed any materials I needed to acquire.

And it already worked for me. I made new pillow covers for the couch, put some fabric away that I'd had sitting by my dresser for two weeks, organized part of a closet, all so I could cross those things off my list.


Front and back view of the pillow covers. The fabric was given to me by the lovely Sarah.


In her response to my last post, Dalene brought up a good point. It's easy to view the things that would be nice to do as things that "have" to get done. And they are not musts, just things that would be nice. After having read her comment, I've been thinking about why it is I want to do these projects and whether my priorities are clear. One solution to this is to rank my projects in order of importance. It would be nice to have a catalog of my shoes (Yes I really am that vain and meticulous. Oh and by the way I added a new pair to the collection that I am really excited about. Post to come later, maybe.) but it is more important for me to write my personal history. See? Priorities.

I'm working on this whole priorities thing and completing projects thing. And my list is a good start for me.

Thank you for being my therapists. I am so grateful for all of you dear readers.

Project ADD

I've got a problem. Well, not really A problem, because I have many, well, not problems per se, but deficiencies... This post is taking a wrong turn. Let's back up.

I have a problem I would like to get off my chest. I have "Project ADD." What is this disorder? It is when people like me, who are interested in many things, look to find structure and meaning in working on projects, but not finishing them. What is wrong with me?

Don't answer that, because I already know the answer: I have "Project ADD," which would explain why it is that I started sewing several items which I haven't completed such as (CONFESSION ALERT) a wool coat that I haven't picked up since October, a dress that I just need to sew a zipper on and it's finished (in my defense, I do not like sewing in zippers), a pair of shorts I cut out last summer, fabric and patterns galore... Yeah I could go on, but I'm already embarrassed enough and I am about to reveal even more unfinished projects.

Confession 2: I have a year worth of photos printed and waiting to be scrapbooked. The problem is that part way through that project I got interested in going digital. So, I decided to start a digital scrapbook of our Europe trip. Fun, yes! And I'm almost all the way through with Paris, but I still have some writing to do. JUST FINISH IT! But instead I am unbelievably tempted to start on Rome.

Confession 3: That's not to mention the life history I started writing and stopped without bothering to finish my thought so that it would be easy to pick up when I became interested once again. Also not mentioning the photos I've been meaning to touch up, the DDR that I've been meaning to get better at, the recipes I've been wanting to try, the organization projects I'm itching to work on, the nutrition tracking database I've been working on for myself, the food storage system I've been wanting to develop, the list of places and things around town I want to photograph...

Enough. This is getting more and more depressing.

WAIT!

Okay, so this whole blogging thing is really therapeutic. I know what I need to do. Mrs. Organization herself (that's me) needs to get organized about her projects, and if she really wants to finish things, she should do what she does best which is make lists, set priorities and deadlines and work (and enjoy).

Thank you for reading dear readers. I feel better.

Inspiration for St. Patricks Day

If it works for Dwight...

FF: Kacy

Meet Kacy, one of the friendliest friends around. She is humble, lives close to the spirit, is kind, generous, thoughtful, funny, says the wrong thing from time to time, loves the Lord, is smart, talented, beautiful and the list goes on.

I met Kacy a little over three years ago when we were hiring in our group at work. When I interviewed her I felt an overwhelming confirmation that she was the one to hire. And in getting to know her, I've realized that we were friends long before that first interview, and we've just been catching up ever since we met up again.

Kacy went to Europe with TC and me, and put up with us for two whole weeks. She was kind and tolerant of our idiosyncrasies, neuroses and our way of being us. For that alone, she is a saint.


Can you tell she's tired of me taking her picture?


And being bossy about how she should smile?



Some of my favorite times with Kacy have been: when she almost knocked Elder Ballard over, when she laughed at me for uncomfortably holding Elder Scott's hand, when she laughed at me for falling off a chair in heels and a skirt when I was supposed to be at my most professional, when she fell out her chair in a skirt and heels when she was supposed to be at her most professional, the way she describes Elder Holland's cheeks, when she slammed into our screen door and spilled water all over the place, singing with her in the car, watching the Olympics opening ceremony with her and TC and making up what people were saying ("Your bref steeeenk."), falling in love with gelato together with TC, sending her a goofy photo of me in a text message, feeling stupid, then receiving a goofy picture of her back, giving her whale nudges of appreciation, being inspired by her to read the scriptures more earnestly, and discussing insights we gained from our study of the gospel (mostly she's the one with the insights).

Thank you Kacy for being such a friendly friend.

Daily Commute Top Five

Top Five things I see on my daily "commute":
1. Brides.
2. Panhandlers.
3. Drivers that are unaware that you should not block an intersection, ever.
4. Grooms (yes, they come in fourth).
5. Flowers (not lately, but soon I'll see all kinds of gorgeous, fragrant flowers).


Bonus sight: Busted stroller stuck in a tree, fifteen feet up.

My Super Fun Life

I woke up this morning just knowing it would be an extraordinary day. I got ready for work while listening to tunes on my ipod. So fun even though it was ridiculously early (for me anyway, don't judge)! Then, after an exhilarating day at my epitome of awesomeness job, I came home and made super yums chocolate chip cookies for TC, because I'm just that kind of domestic goddess. And, I didn't even sample any of the dough (*cough*lie*cough*). After I'd finished baking the cookies, and cleaned up the kitchen so that it was super squeaky clean I made a delicious dinner. TC and I enjoyed dinner while having an AI viewing party (just the two of us to keep things intimate), which was so super fun. That Taylor girl from Utah is so super good, because she's from Hurricane. Did you notice how Ryan said Hurricane? He said it like it was a weather phenomena, rather than a Utah city (HER-ih-ken). That made me laugh so hard. Then TC fixed my super awesome computer, and then I decided to write all about it while watching the super neat Fox 13 News at nine.

Good night! And have a super tomorrow!*


*I'm not on drugs, just tired, bored and unbelievably silly.

We interrupt this regularly scheduled nonsense...

...for this breaking news. Spring is springing or spring is trying to spring. The little plants are poking their heads up from the ground, and on the way to work this morning, I actually saw a little flower coming off one of those buds. My soul feels bright and happy and warm.

I realize that for those of you on the east coast, this may seem far fetched what with your record breaking snow yesterday, but let me assure you, it is not. Hooray for flowers and plants and growth and spring. Hooray for longer days and sunshine rays and time to play. Hoo-frigging-ray people!

FF: Dalene

Dalene is on the right, wearing the super cool moon boots. I'm the dork on the left, the one waiting for a flood. We're waiting in line to sit on Santa's lap at a ward party.

Dalene is the friend by which I measure all other friends. Dalene, like Jenni, helped me become a better person. It was because of her good example that I wanted to do the "cool" thing, which around her was being good.

At a birthday party (maybe my 10th?). I'm on the bottom row, left, Dalene is next to me, and Jenni is on the top row, second one from the left.

In all honesty, it's hard to write about Dalene without mentioning Jenni and vice versa. We were best friends growing up, never to be separated (except by college, marriage and then life). The three of us worked on a Laurel project together, attended Girls Camp and Snow Trips together, had early morning birthday breakfast "kidnappings" together, were in stake plays together, flirted with boys together, went to regional dances together, drove down to Disneyland together for a senior year trip, and occassionally skipped Sunday school together (good thing my parents don't read this, right?).

One of the funniest memories I have of Dalene was a regional youth conference that we attended. We had spent the day doing various activities, and by the time dinner rolled around, we were wired." One guy sitting at our dinner table was kind of obnoxious, and when he stood up to reach across the table, Dalene, who was sitting next to him, pulled his chair out from behind him. Unsuspectingly, he put all his weight to sit back down on the chair, discovered it wasn't there, immediately put on a face of panic as he fell, and Dalene and I laughed so hard that we had to leave the room. I didn't quite make it to the restroom before the humor of the situation had wet my pants. When the two of us would laugh and one of us would say, "I'm going to wet my pants," it was often a literal thing.

Our senior trip to Disneyland. Gordita, Kim, Tina, Dalene and Jenni. Kim and Tina are other friendly friends that will be featured later.

Dalene and I had a truly special friendship, you know the kind where you promise to come to each others' weddings and promise that your boys will marry her girls, and so on. With Dalene, where she would get married was never a question: she would be married in the temple, for eternity, of course. I took that to heart, and made it my own goal. And it was because of her good influence that I decided to apply to BYU, which ended up being pivotal in my life. But really, who am I kidding? Her good influence, and Jenni's good influence led me to make a lot of decisions I may not have on my own.

Jenni, me, Dalene and Beth Headley, the best Young Women leader ever at camp. We had a lot of purple going on. I promise that I was not on drugs.

My journal from my teen years is riddled with Dalene's name, and whenever I read my journal from back then I can get caught up for hours reminiscing. I could go on and on about all the great things we did together.

I am overwhelmed with gratitude for how blessed I have been in my life to have people around me that help me want to do better, and show me how.

FF: Jenni, my friend from home

Jenni at my 7th birthday party.

I was fortunate enough to grow up with several girls my age, one of whom was Jenni.

My 7th birthday party. Jenni is on the far right.

Jenni is funny, smart, kind and loyal. I love those things about her.

My earliest memory of Primary is of her answering questions about characters in the Book of Mormon. I was so impressed with how much she knew (and a little ashamed at how much I didn't know, but this about Jenni's wonderfulness and not my lack of).

With her creative forces, she could come up with the funniest things. One of my fondest memories is from high school when we attended a performance of Handel's Messiah together. In front of us sat a couple that had problems keeping their hands to themselves. We giggled through the performance, mimicking their affection. Naturally the next morning in seminary we took the time to sketch these two lovers, Jenni adding the funniest details. I have it somewhere in storage. Maybe I'll scan it sometime...

Also from seminary, she and I drew many pictures in a notebook we kept. I still have that notebook (again, in storage). We drew pictures of the girl who flossed in seminary, the guy who slept EVERY morning, and the love birds that sat in front of us.

Jenni (far left), Lindsay, Aslinn, Amy and me. At a "Snow Trip" (We Bay Area California people don't see snow ever, so once a year the young women and men go to the mountains especially to play in the snow. We're crazy like that.) we were the Bathroom Beauties, lipsynching to Motown hits dressed in our bathroom best.

Also, Jenni rarely said unkind things about other people, unlike me. She was such a good girl, doing what's right no matter what. She wasn't one who would cave in to peer pressure or make bad decisions just to look cool. When I sincerely wanted to do better, I would think about Jenni and what she would do.

I remember one St. Patrick's Day she came to church dressed in the cutest green button-down shirt, that she made! It was so well done and I was so impressed and proud and kind of jealous because none of my sewing projects ever looked so crisp as her green shirt. At that moment, I has a sewing epiphany: that if I really put as much effort as she put into her shirt, I could, maybe, make beautiful products just like Jenni.

Thankfully, this girl was in my ward and I was able to spend the bulk of my childhood learning from her. Thank you Jenni for being my friend then, and now. You're just awesome.

Jenni nowadays. I am a complete freak and stole this off her website.

Friendly Friends

I have been fortunate my entire life to be surrounded by wonderful people, the kind of people that I can look up to, and do my best to emulate. I have been blessed to have wonderful friends that uplift me and strengthen me and make me laugh so hard I wet my pants.

In the spirit of gratitude for such friends, I thought I might start a "Friendly Friends" series, where I spotlight a friend from the past or present and their wonderfulness. Because let's face it, who doesn't LOVE reading about themselves. And let's also face it that I have a lot of love in my cute little old heart for my friends, and I want to share that love with the world wide web. So enjoy, my friendly friends.