Losing myself

Back in the summer of 2003 I realized that I was portly. It seems odd that it took a realization to know this, but it did. I suspected that my weight had creeped up, every once in a while I would complain to TC that I was too flabby, too chubby, too round. But each time I complained, TC would be so soothing, telling me that I was beautiful no matter what, and that if it really bothered me he would support me in doing something about it, and then I would feel better. And then I would forget that I was unhappy with my weight.





But the summer of 2003 was pivotal for me. We took a trip to Northern California to visit my home. I had been looking forward to this road trip, and in preparation bought some new clothes so I would look fabulous. When I saw the photos I realized it was more like flabulous. I was disappointed and may have thrown a fit befitting a spoiled child. I admit nothing.

In the Bay Area that fateful summer.

Around that same time I realized that the immortality of my youth was wearing off. I was getting older (I was old at the ripe age of 24) and could have health problems because of the 40 extra pounds I was lugging around. So that very same day that I had a break down about being heavy, with TC's support and encouragement, I joined Weight Watchers online.

We got to work right away looking up the points values of foods that I would typically eat. I was shocked that my favorite breakfast, a bagel with cream cheese and a glass of orange juice, was a little less than half of my daily allotted points. Also shocking was that in a typical day I regularly ate around twice as many calories as I should. I was determined to make better food choices and determined not to fail. This HAD to work because we were paying a monthly fee!

We went shopping for low points foods and made a plan for what I would eat each day. And with how much I love lists, I was really excited to have a list that would tell me what to eat and when to eat it. This was right up my alley! My determination led me to be beyond diligent that first week. I made sure I did not go over points, I drank all the required water, and I even tried to eat some vegetables. I was even worried about eating the sacrament bread, wondering how many points I should add to my points tracker for that. That's dedication!

I lost 4 pounds that first week. My skepticism that this would work was dashed. So I kept going, and kept losing. TC's encouragement and support kept me going even when I threw fits about "how hard it is" and "how hungry I was" and "how I just wanted to lose control and polish off an entire bag of Doritos in one sitting like I used to" so that by October, just three months later, I had lost 22 pounds.

Notice this is the same outfit I wore on our vacation just three months before.

By December I had lost 30 pounds total.


January through March were slow. My weight fluctuated. I was constantly losing and gaining the same 5 pounds. But finally, in April I reached my goal weight.

At goal.

And I celebrated, and the heavens sang, and I went shopping. Thus began my love affair with buying clothes.

Since this is so long, I'll cut this off here for now. But I'd like to tell you all a little more about this making better food choices business, just in case what I learned so slowly will help someone else. For now, enjoy the photos.