Cooking style

It's rare that I actually follow every direction, use every ingredient to the exact amount, in a recipe. I read recipes for inspiration.

In choosing a recipe, the following is my MO:

1. How many ingredients do I have to buy? (More than five and the recipe is likely out the window.)
2. How many ingredients can I substitute with items I already have without making the whole thing yucky?
3. Are the ingredients I need to buy cupboard items that keep for a long time? (I can justify buying spices that I may use again more than I can justify buying a bunch of radishes that I may only use for one recipe before they spoil.)
4. Is the recipe more complicated or time consuming than it's worth? (If there is any prep work to be done before I go to work in the morning, the recipe is off my list. I can't be trusted to get out of bed in time to get to work at a decent hour, let alone get up early enough to do prep in the kitchen.)
5. Will I learn something new that I can use in other recipes? (This doesn't always happen, but is a bonus, as long as the learning goes quickly.)
6. Is my kitchen prep and assembly time less than 30 minutes? (Unless it's a Sunday dinner, it really should be a short prep time. I get home from work famished, so long preparation in the kitchen leads to snacking which leads to overeating which leads to more Gordita than I can handle.)
7. Are there steps I can skip?

So my above MO may give some indication as to why a significant percentage (20% or so) of my meals don't turn out. However, I've gotten smart. I've started writing in my cookbooks. I write the date I prepared the recipe along with any substitutions I made, suggestions for the next time (things like, use less lemon juice than it calls for), or a warning not to prepare again. With my bad memory, there's no guarantee that I'm going to remember what went wrong when I go to prepare something for the second time. Now I don't have to remember. It's all in writing.

Do you have a kitchen MO? Care to share?

Bullseye

I have a blemish, right perfectly centered at the top of my nose between my eyebrows. It's a bullseye. It's large and round and protruding. And no amount of concealer would conceal this puppy. I've had it since last week. Luckily, it's going away. Unluckily, it's taking its sweet time. It has definitely overstayed its welcome.

Here's another bullseye: I stuck with the dinner menu I set up last week, and it was fabulous. It's wonderful to have something to look forward to each evening. I set up another dinner menu for this week. Last night it was mozzarella and ham (the recipe called for prosciutto, but who has that stuff lying around?) paninis. Tonight: black bean quesadillas on whole wheat wrap (I bought approximately 83 of them at Costco, so I gotta use em up).

So where am I getting my recipe inspiration? Well, mostly from Cooking Light cook books that I've received as gifts (some of the best gifts ever).

One of my CL books. Some of the best recipes ever are contained in this book. AND, it's available for $23.07 at amazon.

I also have Weight Watchers recipe books, and access to their recipe database online, but here's what I've found with WW recipes: there's a trade off. It seems like their philosophy is that in order to cook healthy foods you have to sacrifice taste and texture. I've cooked so many duds from WW that I've nearly given up on them (their recipes. their weight loss doctrine is sound) completely.

But Cooking Light seems to put taste and texture first, calories next. So you end up with foods that you can't imagine are actually "light." I LOVE being tricked into thinking that something isn't light when it really is. I feel exhilarated because I'm being naughty, but I'm not being naughty at all.

Have you hit any bullseyes lately?

Losing myself continued

It's been nearly 6 years since I got fed up with my weight and decided to do something about it. What have I learned in that time?

• Regular soda just isn't worth the calories. Neither are juice or punch.

• Water is so super awesome, especially when it's ice cold.

• You don't have to count sacrament bread in your points tracker.

• I can't bake with splenda or low fat margerines. Stick with "real" ingredients and just eat less. I'll enjoy the treat more.

• Being hungry from time to time isn't the end of the world.

• It's nice to feel full.

• Sometimes I think I'm hungry when I'm just thirsty. Have a drink and see how I feel in a few minutes.

• It is possible to find inner peace eating just one cookie rather than twelve.

• I don't need guacamole to be happy, and sour cream is optional.

• Toast tastes just fine with only jam rather than butter and jam. Even dry toast is pretty darn delicious too.

• My self-worth is not defined by how much frosting is on my slice of cake.

• I only need mayonnaise on one piece of bread in a sandwich.

• I can make my own pizza and not break the points budget. This is great because I LOVE pizza.

• While we're talking about pizza, Little Caesars pizza actually isn't terribly pointy. It's not for everyone, but I enjoy it from time to time when I need a quick pizza fix and I don't have time to wait for a crust to rise. It's always hot-n-ready.

• It's fun to binge. (I've always known that.) But it's even fun to go to town on a bowl of salad (with vinegar for dressing), carrots or a heap of grapes. Sometimes for me, it's all about quantity, rather than quantity of fatty stuff.

• Speaking of "bingeing," low fat microwave popcorn is tasty, especially when you experiment with spices to top your popcorn. Mesquite flavored popcorn? Spicy, but tasty. Curry popcorn? Same. Garlic salt? Yum, but bad breath later.

Keep reading! You can do it. You won't be disappointed.*

• Smoothies are an awesome treat. Just put milk, bananas, strawberries and some splenda or sugar in a blender, and blend until smooth. If you want it super cold, add ice to the blender. Want variety? Change up the fruits.

• Fruits and vegetables have a magic power to help me feel satisfied without using up a bunch of points. For that, I love vegetables and fruits.

• I don't have to feel deprived; I just have to find ways other than a towering bowl of ice cream to treat myself. Diet soda is a great treat. Especially diet Dr. Pepper. So my favorite!

• Cafe Rio is worth every single last point. We get it once a week as a treat for eating well during the week. I don't spare any grain of rice and my "No black bean left behind" policy is in full force. Pointy but entirely worth it to me.

• Exercise can be fun. Seriously people. This is coming from a contender for "the laziest person on the planet" award. I hate sweating, I hate jumping, I hate panting. But get the right exercise buddy (mine is TC), and a routine you like (we do Tony Horton's Power 90), switch up the routines from time to time and it can be fun. Make fun of the exercise video and listen to great music and it can be a good time. Plus, it gives me an excuse to indulge a little bit later by having a smoothie or a yogurt.

• Speaking of yogurt, it makes an awesome snack. It's sweet and cold and creamy. Way yums.

• I have collar bones and wrist bones! And I'm not actually big boned like I always thought. Who would have thought?

• People are judgmental no matter what your weight is. Heavy? People judge you. Not heavy? People judge you or assume you're naturally thin, or that it's easy.

• On that note, weight loss is a constant battle for me. Food is a pretty common subject around here because it's on my mind. How much I eat, when I eat, what I eat... It's all something I need to be aware of because when I wasn't I would eat insane amounts of food and wonder why my pants kept getting tighter and shorter.

• Knowing how much a food is worth in points helps me evaluate if I really want it or not. And the whole concept of eating less than you burn off really works. Gordita's honor.

There's more to this story, but just like last time, this is getting long. Stay tuned.

*You may be disappointed. ikrod makes no guarantees about satisfaction or disappointment when spending time on this website.

Losing myself

Back in the summer of 2003 I realized that I was portly. It seems odd that it took a realization to know this, but it did. I suspected that my weight had creeped up, every once in a while I would complain to TC that I was too flabby, too chubby, too round. But each time I complained, TC would be so soothing, telling me that I was beautiful no matter what, and that if it really bothered me he would support me in doing something about it, and then I would feel better. And then I would forget that I was unhappy with my weight.





But the summer of 2003 was pivotal for me. We took a trip to Northern California to visit my home. I had been looking forward to this road trip, and in preparation bought some new clothes so I would look fabulous. When I saw the photos I realized it was more like flabulous. I was disappointed and may have thrown a fit befitting a spoiled child. I admit nothing.

In the Bay Area that fateful summer.

Around that same time I realized that the immortality of my youth was wearing off. I was getting older (I was old at the ripe age of 24) and could have health problems because of the 40 extra pounds I was lugging around. So that very same day that I had a break down about being heavy, with TC's support and encouragement, I joined Weight Watchers online.

We got to work right away looking up the points values of foods that I would typically eat. I was shocked that my favorite breakfast, a bagel with cream cheese and a glass of orange juice, was a little less than half of my daily allotted points. Also shocking was that in a typical day I regularly ate around twice as many calories as I should. I was determined to make better food choices and determined not to fail. This HAD to work because we were paying a monthly fee!

We went shopping for low points foods and made a plan for what I would eat each day. And with how much I love lists, I was really excited to have a list that would tell me what to eat and when to eat it. This was right up my alley! My determination led me to be beyond diligent that first week. I made sure I did not go over points, I drank all the required water, and I even tried to eat some vegetables. I was even worried about eating the sacrament bread, wondering how many points I should add to my points tracker for that. That's dedication!

I lost 4 pounds that first week. My skepticism that this would work was dashed. So I kept going, and kept losing. TC's encouragement and support kept me going even when I threw fits about "how hard it is" and "how hungry I was" and "how I just wanted to lose control and polish off an entire bag of Doritos in one sitting like I used to" so that by October, just three months later, I had lost 22 pounds.

Notice this is the same outfit I wore on our vacation just three months before.

By December I had lost 30 pounds total.


January through March were slow. My weight fluctuated. I was constantly losing and gaining the same 5 pounds. But finally, in April I reached my goal weight.

At goal.

And I celebrated, and the heavens sang, and I went shopping. Thus began my love affair with buying clothes.

Since this is so long, I'll cut this off here for now. But I'd like to tell you all a little more about this making better food choices business, just in case what I learned so slowly will help someone else. For now, enjoy the photos.

What a piece of peace.

I'm at peace. I've been around long enough to know that with me peace is fleeting. I'm far too fickle to actually stay feeling peaceful for very long. But right now, at this moment in time, I feel at peace--with work, home life, my progression (I feel at peace being a work in progress, which is not always the case), everything. I feel like I have a clear purpose, a defined path, which is comforting and refreshing. I don't know how long this peace will last, but I am savoring it while I can.

On another note, the 3 lbs lost in last week's vomiting debacle are back in full force. Sigh... I was miserable for nothing. I suppose I'm NOT at peace about that. Oh the irony...

On yet another note, I made a goal this week to wear a different pair of shoes each day because I typically wear the same black heels every day because I keep them at work, and they are sensible and fairly comfortable and if I wear the same ones every day I don't have to put forth much effort. But, I took those shoes home to polish, and I have been too lazy to polish them, so I have decided that I enjoy this week without my comfortable fall-back pair of black heels. And so far, so good. It turns out, I have great shoes, that I love. Wow! Yesterday: Lulu. Today: Steve Madden Lydia. Tomorrow: the possibilities are endless!

Ahh... Peace.

How to lose 3 lbs in 1 day!

I have the secret, though I wouldn't recommend it: get a stomach bug which doesn't allow you to keep anything down, not even Powerade. And losing these three pounds puts me 1.5 pounds away from my goal weight. Wow! So there's the secret folks.

Now that I'm feeling better (weak, but able to drink Powerade and eat saltines), all I want is some of the healing goodness of McDonald's Chicken McNuggets dipped in honey. I'm not sure of the origin of this "need" but when I'm not feeling good all I want are chicken mcnuggets. The sad thing is that our car is in the shop, and there are no McDonald's within walking distance (not that I could walk there anyway). Sad. So sad.

So I'm whining about not being able to get my nuggets and honey when there are worse things that I could be going through. With that realization I'll end it there.

The secret to rapid weight loss is unpleasant and not healthy, but losing 3 pounds in one day is possible. Keeping it off is a whole different story.

Resistance and Insistence

Dearest co-worker that lets me know about the pumpkin bagels on the desk not 12 steps from my office,

Thank you for your kind thoughtfulness. Thank you for letting me know that there is food, when it is not yet lunchtime, and I've already had my morning snack, and I am starving. Thank you for asking me several times if I would like a bagel, and so helpfully offering to bring me one. You remind me of the dear co-worker yesterday who brought me two cookies, because he was concerned I would not get one, and then I had to smell snickerdoodle cinnamony goodness right under my nose until I finally gave in and ate it but was successfully able to save the other cookie for TC. Thank you for the complicating my battle with will-power by adding a measure of peer pressure. I have to fight myself to stay on track, as well as fight you, politely, smiling through my teeth, insisting that I would rather pass on the pumpkiny yummy smelling bagels and rich and creamy cream cheese when my stomach is growling and I'm feeling weak from lack of nourishment and ask myself why I try to have resolve to eat well in the first place, and can one bagel really do all that much harm, and it's just ONE bagel (plus a piece of candy from each co-worker, plus pretzels, plus all the delicious food at the cafeteria) and you insist that I should really try one because they are just fresh out of the oven, and the cream cheese is fresh, and there are plenty of bagels for everyone and when I explain that I am declining the bagel because I am trying to eat better you tell me that I don't need to lose weight, and that I'm being too hard on myself, and that I can develop an eating disorder when you really have no idea how much I weigh, or how many of my clothes I've grown out of in the last year (and I'm not getting any taller). I appreciate your kindness, your concern that I will miss out on the treats, your love for me that matches my apparent love for food and the flattery that you so generously bestow upon me. I am going to sit in my office and drink my ice water from my jumbo water cup and hope you will forget about me, and hope I will forget about the bagels, or at least resist until they have all been eaten. Thank you for loving me so much that you want me to enjoy too. You are too kind.

All the best,
Gordita (ever trying to be less gordita)