More embarrassing moments

Andrea's comment that at least I didn't literally run into the big man on Friday got me thinking about a time that my BFF Kacy and I shared embarrassing moments at the same event.

A few years back, Kacy and I and others were asked to assist at a luncheon for the top 15 of the Church and their wives. Our assignments were to help seat the brethren and their wives as they came in. I remember I was wearing a skirt suit (black jacket, black pencil skirt) and a button down top. I might have been wearing pearls. I was the model of grace and professionalism. This story really just proves that you can dress a monkey in silk, but he's still a monkey.

First, let's talk about Kacy's less awkward, could happen to anyone, moment. She was assigned DFU and his wife. When they came in, she walked up, greeted them, told them that she would be helping them to their seats, turned around quickly to walk toward their seats, and face planted right into MRB's chest, nearly knocking him over. Then there was a little "should I go this way? no you go that way." dance that she shared with him before she was able to turn back around to see the DFUs standing and watching, wondering what to do. In the end it was 10 seconds of awkwardness and she was able to show them to their seats without further incident. She was mortified (and I'm a good friend for sharing this story with all of you).

Now on to my, this kind of stuff only happens to Gordita, mishap. I was assigned RGS. When he walked in, I moved toward him with my arm outstretched with the intention of holding on to his left elbow with my right hand to show him to his seat. He thought I was going in for a handshake, but the angle I was coming in was awkward for that. He offered me his right hand, but I was standing next to him by this point. It ended up being this awkward hand holding ordeal (my clammy fingers holding on to the very ends of his fingertips) as I led him to his seat. After a few steps holding hands, he withdrew his hand and followed me to his seat with no further physical contact. This left both of us feeling uncomfortable. But now it just makes me laugh. I doubt he remembers the Q12 groupie that held his hand.

So there you have it folks. After seven years of working in the same place, I've had contact with important people from time to time, and made a mess of it more often than not. It's not glamorous, just embarrassing. :)


P.S. Sorry for the initials. It just seems less pretentious than using their full names. Plus, I don't want this to come up in some Google search where an innocent soul is searching for the word of God and gets the word of Gordita (far inferior) instead.

Well, I try.

What do you say when the living prophet, the president of the LDS Church, the big man, the Lord's anointed, is walking down the hallway toward you with his lunch, and he says, "You walk fast, don't you?"



If you're me, you say, "Well, I try."

If you're anyone else you say, "Ha yeah." Or "How are you today sir?" Or "Yup. I'm on a mission."

But if you're me, you don't think quickly on your feet, you end up saying, "Well, I try." Which sounds snotty if you ask me. And then you feel awkward.



And then, when he responds with, "You're a track star." What do you say?

If you're me, you smile and keep charging forward.

If you're anyone else, you might say, "Thank you sir." "I haven't got the right shoes for that sir." OR "Well, I try. Sir."



*sigh*

Panic! What vitamin D deficiency really means!

A friend at work sent me this article after I told her about my vitamin D deficiency. It made us both laugh a little.

The article is trying to point out the problems that often accompany vitamin D deficiency. But it kind of does a poor job of it. My favorite line is, "When compared with those with normal levels, those with a low level of the vitamin were ... 77 percent more likely to die."

I'm pretty sure we all have a 100% likelihood of death. Just saying.

But truly I get it. Vitamin D is necessary and has links to heart health, overall wellbeing, so on and so forth. And from now on, I will be conscious of my vitamin D levels and have it checked every so often. But really? I'm 77 percent more likely to die? Ha. I laugh in the face of meaningless percentages.


Shoes today are:



Guess Charlotte in black suede. These are my most recent acquisition, from DSW. The nice folks at the Designer Shoe Warehouse sent me a certificate for $20 off. That dough went toward these beauties. Admire the buckle, the suede... Sigh. And check out the heather grey tights. Wee.



Don't think that I wear exciting shoes everyday. You saw the flats from Tuesday? So what am I wearing when I don't post my shoes? Boring stuff, or shoes I've already shown you. *yawn*

Literally

I'm freezing my butt off. Literally.

Just kidding. It's only figurative. Wouldn't it be nice if all it took was being cold to lose some backside bulk? I wish.

I'm so hungry I could eat a horse. Literally.

Not really. I'm not into horse meat.

I'm so tired I could sleep for days. Literally.

If only I didn't have to take bathroom breaks every so often. Or eat (see above). Darn those basic needs.

I've been working my butt off. Literally.

Again, I wish. It's only figurative, and not even true at that. I haven't been all that focused lately. Mind is scattered. Body is tired. Want to curl up under a blanket. Want to play Rock Band until the wee hours of the morning. Want to rock and roll all night and party every day.

Shoe of the day: wait for it... FLATS! O.M.Gosh.

I'm wearing sweater tights today because I'm turning blue (figuratively) with cold. And what goes better with sweater tights (or sock pants as my 3 year old niece calls them) than little girl shoes? It wasn't really a fashion choice so much as it was an admission that I'm just so tired that I'm not sure if I can safely walk in high heels right now (literally).

Shoe facts: Mudd Eden. Black, all man made materials. Bought them to wear to work when I sprained my ankle on Easter Sunday, 2008. How did I sprain my ankle? I was elegantly *coughyeahrightcough* walking down the stairs in my building, hurrying to church, wearing sensible shoes *coughyeahrightcough* when I lost my footing and I fell forward, twisting my ankle into the weirdest of positions. Literally. Thinking it was a minor injury I toughened up, convinced the concerned Huz that I was fine, and we walked to church. Sitting through the first meeting was excruciating because of the pain (and for other, attitudinal reasons). To make a long story longer, I pulled TC out of his meeting, he ran home and got the car, drove to church to get me, drove me home, got me changed into non-Easter clothes, propped up my foot with pillows on the couch, made sure I had the TV remote and PS3 controller nearby, got me a glass of water and some ibuprofen, and ran back to church. What a committed fellow! We went to the doctor the next day, or the same day, I can't remember. I got a neat looking *coughyeahrightcough* brace to wear around my swollen ankle, and was told to stay off the heels for a while. I was dumbstruck. Literally (when is that not true, ha). So we went shopping for flats I could wear to work that were wide enough to fit the brace. We found these. What a long story only to justify why I have flats.

Interestingly (not literally) I have a gel insole in these shoes. So bouncy. Literally. Not figuratively.

Finally, I'll leave you with this thought: My throat is on fire. You decide if it's figurative or literal.

Vitamin D

I'm just waiting for the Vitamin D and all the other drugs I'm on to kick in and give me an energy boost. In the meantime, I'm faking it until I make it.

I'm not very good at faking it.

Today I'm wearing these:


Jessica Simpson black square toe pumps. I bought them at Dillards about a year and a half ago. I've worn them so much that the name of the shoe has rubbed off and I don't remember what they are called, so sorry I don't have more details. I remember when I first got these shoes I thought they were far too tall for me to walk safely in, but I've gotten used to them.

Sorry the photo is so hideous. The shoes are black matte leather, not green brown shiny mystery fabric like they look in the photo. Stupid phone camera.