Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Mystery Noise

For the last few weeks, we've heard a mystery noise in our apartment. It's actually coming from outside. I can't, for the life of me or anyone else, figure out what the noise is. It's like a tone. Imagine humming, whirring "booooooohhhhhhh" in a B flat. And it goes on for 30 seconds or longer. And one time, I went out on the balcony to hear it better, and it was loud. I mean LOUD, like jet engine taking off half a mile away loud (which really isn't all that loud, but my point is that the noise bothers me, so I want to hide the fact that the noise isn't a big deal by making it seem like it is so super loud by using comparisons that on the surface accomplish my goal, but if one were to analyze it further one would realize that I am making a mountain out of a noisy little molehill).

And let me further aggrandize my efforts by saying that going outside to investigate was a big sacrifice for me, because I wasn't wearing shoes, and the concrete is very cold, and I tend to forget that we even have a balcony during the winter because I refuse to go out there because it's cold and dark and dank and dirty, and I'm exaggerating. But this will explain why my cute little pine tree will likely die in a few months.

Anyway, back to the tone. It reminds me of the hearing tests I took in elementary school where the big bookmobile-type truck would come to the school and I had to go in and wear headphones and raise my hand if I could hear the tone. The noise is like that. And it's driving me out of my mind. What is it? Why is it? Is there a pattern? Does it sound in even intervals? Why do I care? Should I raise my hand every time I hear it? Is the city testing my hearing?

And every time I hear the sound I say to TC in an agitated tone of voice, "TC, there it is AGAIN. What IS it?" And TC shrugs his shoulders indifferently and goes back to whatever he is doing (i.e. sleeping) and my blood pressure rises because I cannot figure out what the noise is and it really REALLY bothers me.

Stupid noise.

Friday, November 21, 2008


I love shoes. It's borderline obsessive. If shoes were a person, they would probably seek a restraining order against me. When a well dressed lady walks by me, I almost immediately look down at her shoes so I can admire them, likely coming across as either creepy or catty. I love trying on shoes, I love looking at them, I love buying them, I love wearing heels in the house for no reason at all other than to wear them, even if I'm no more dressed up than pajama pants and a sweater.

So rather than analyzing why I might have a borderline obsession with shoes, likely tied to the fact that despite whatever weight I am, my shoe size stays the same, and no matter how un-bony the rest of my body is, my feet have typically been rather bony, I would like to share with my dear readers one of my newest acquisitions in the Gordita's Closet Special Collection (GCSC).

Meet Apepazza Lulu in purple. It was love/want/need at first sight the other day when TC pointed them out to me at DSW (which has a website that isn't as good as their store here). And once I tried them on I fell even harder for their whimsical bows and impractical color. What's more fun than whimsy and impracticality? TC fully supports my shoe aficionado-ness, and I had already fallen hard, so I got them.

And now I'm wearing them. And I feel like a million bucks. And I'm happy with my Lulus. And yet, somehow, I still can't get enough of looking at other shoes...

I have a wandering eye for shoes...

Yikes! That's a post for another day.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Resistance and Insistence

Dearest co-worker that lets me know about the pumpkin bagels on the desk not 12 steps from my office,

Thank you for your kind thoughtfulness. Thank you for letting me know that there is food, when it is not yet lunchtime, and I've already had my morning snack, and I am starving. Thank you for asking me several times if I would like a bagel, and so helpfully offering to bring me one. You remind me of the dear co-worker yesterday who brought me two cookies, because he was concerned I would not get one, and then I had to smell snickerdoodle cinnamony goodness right under my nose until I finally gave in and ate it but was successfully able to save the other cookie for TC. Thank you for the complicating my battle with will-power by adding a measure of peer pressure. I have to fight myself to stay on track, as well as fight you, politely, smiling through my teeth, insisting that I would rather pass on the pumpkiny yummy smelling bagels and rich and creamy cream cheese when my stomach is growling and I'm feeling weak from lack of nourishment and ask myself why I try to have resolve to eat well in the first place, and can one bagel really do all that much harm, and it's just ONE bagel (plus a piece of candy from each co-worker, plus pretzels, plus all the delicious food at the cafeteria) and you insist that I should really try one because they are just fresh out of the oven, and the cream cheese is fresh, and there are plenty of bagels for everyone and when I explain that I am declining the bagel because I am trying to eat better you tell me that I don't need to lose weight, and that I'm being too hard on myself, and that I can develop an eating disorder when you really have no idea how much I weigh, or how many of my clothes I've grown out of in the last year (and I'm not getting any taller). I appreciate your kindness, your concern that I will miss out on the treats, your love for me that matches my apparent love for food and the flattery that you so generously bestow upon me. I am going to sit in my office and drink my ice water from my jumbo water cup and hope you will forget about me, and hope I will forget about the bagels, or at least resist until they have all been eaten. Thank you for loving me so much that you want me to enjoy too. You are too kind.

All the best,
Gordita (ever trying to be less gordita)

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

My life is complete! I was tagged!

Shannon tagged me, and I forgot to respond until just now when I was overwhelmingly bored (on my lunch break) and realized that I had some unfinished bid-ness.

8 Favorite T.V. shows: 24, The Office, Smallville, Firefly, Simpsons, Seinfeld, American Idol, okay, now I'm just stretching it.

8 Favorite Restaurants: The Rio (Cafe Rio that is. Even if I do gain 2 1/2 pounds every time we eat there), Olive Garden (I know it's yet another chain, but the food is good, and I love their salad), Wendys, Little Caesars (not technically a restaurant, but whatever), Samba Grill (what's not to love about all you can eat meat?), Tia Juana's, and I'm out of ideas.

8 things that happened yesterday: Went to work, came home from work, went with TC to the mall, did Pilates buns & thighs, watched TV with TC, brushed teeth, went to bed. Riveting, I know.

8 things to look forward to: Thanksgiving dinner, after Thanksgiving shopping, Christmas, putting up the Christmas tree even though it's painfully early, leaving work today (I like to think on the short term), dinner (didn't I just eat lunch?), seeing TC, being perfect (almost there!) and fulfilling item 7 on Shannon's wishlist.

8 things I love about Fall: turtleneck sweaters, cardigan sweaters, boots, plaid skirts, crunchy leaves (who doesn't love that?), that snow is just around the corner, that Christmas is just around the corner, raking leaves (not that I have any to rake, and no I do not do house calls).

8 things on my wishlist: to finish my sewing projects (especially the wool coat), to have enough willpower to save the chocolate chip cookie on my desk for TC, smaller buns & thighs, for more people to comment on my blog (if only... read: manipulation), world peace, trouser jeans, no dark eye circles, love and understanding.

I tag the following people: TC, and anyone else that stalks the blog.

P.S. Thanks for reading.
P.P.S. I'm serious about not making house calls.
P.P.P.S. I'm also serious about manipulation.
P.P.P.P.S. I'm kidding about world peace. I don't really care.
P.P.P.P.P.S. I wonder if people can tell when I'm being facetious?

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Friday, November 7, 2008



London was Gordita's favorite stop of the whole trip. Everything was clean and shiny, and green and royal and Her Majesty's.

See? It's Her Majesty's Theatre.

1. Buckingham Palace. We didn't get to see the changing of the guard (they weren't doing it the two days we showed up to see it), but it's still shiny and beautiful. And we got a few photos of the cute little nutcracker men.

A bobby.

2. Big Ben and the Houses of Parliament.


3. The London Eye. In the daytime it's enormous. And in the evening, when it's dark and windy and cold, and you're in one of those pods, and there's a sort of shady looking guy in your pod that keeps looking in his black backpack, and you can't get a good look at his face because he has a beanie pulled down low and only one fourth of his face is showing, and he's quiet and alone and keeps looking around at everyone suspisiously, it's even enormous-er. But wow, the views are amazing!

The Eye during the day.

Gordita and the All Seeing Eye.

The Compensator is a great photographer!

Big Ben & friends.

How much force can each steel beam take? TC could calculate it.

TC enjoying the view (of Gordita of course).

4. Tower Bridge. We've never seen such an ornate bridge. It comes in second to the Golden Gate in the category of Gordita's favorite bridges.

5. Changing of the Horse Guard. TC and Gordita accidentally caught this and it was great. The shiny uniforms, the official-looking swords, the horses with great haircuts, and the shouting military-style was all part of the fun.

All lined up.

6. The telephone booths. Such charm!

"Ooh here's a pretty phone booth! TC, go in and I'll take a photo of you. It'll be great."

Going in.

Two and a half seconds later, he emerges. It wasn't as great as we all thought it would be.

7. The signs.

"Don't walk," says the little red man, waiting happily to cross.

The jovial little green man says, "Cross, with a jaunt in your step."

Those lovely little lumps.

A man with a spring in his step will be crossing the road in 50 yards.

Any sentence with the word "dismount" is going to be funny. Period.

Chubby, happy little children going to school. Watch for them.

Don't encourage the vermin.

Sounds like where I'd like to be.

So classy we don't even have to spell it right.

Mmm... Beast. My favorite.

Don't feed the tiny pigeons.

Where everybody knows your name, and they're always glad you came.

8. The green. The parks. The open space in the middle of the city.

Other fun facts:
We had fish & chips in a pub, and it was great. The concierge recommended the place to us, saying in his brogue, "They serve fish and chips, shepherd's pie, lamb's brain in a horse's hoof. You know, all the typical British cuisine." He gave us a hard time for falling for the lamb's brain bit. We just didn't want to judge!



1. The Eiffel Tower. How can this not be our number one favorite thing about Paris. It's so big and lacey and pointless, but beautiful. And we stood right under it. It was like a dream. Here are some of our favorite photos.

We're not photoshopped in, Gordita's honor. It's just hard to take photos at night. And even with the difficulty, Kacy did a great job.

2. The Louvre. So many wonderful things to see! Gordita was achy and sick the day we went, but she endured four hours despite her illness because it was just that good. And we still didn't see everything there is to see. Some of our favorite things:

Gordita's favorite thing to see anywhere.

Gordita's favorite painting of Christ.

Some armless lady.

Some mysterious smiling lady whose eyes seem to follow you.

A winged lady.

Of course we couldn't leave out the Madonna and child paintings. This is just one.

Gum Gum was there.

Mummies and more!

The pyramid. So triangular!

3. Notre Dame. What a beauty! No wonder it took 200 years to complete.

Mariachis in France?

The candles.

A window.


We had not idea that the Grim Reaper was there that day. The things that are left out of the story!

Wow again.

Tall isn't it?

The door.

Headless apostle.


Flying buttress.

4. The Seine. Everything about this river is romantic. From the bridges that cross it, the walkways that run beside it, the houses that line it. Gordita was excited when she saw what looked exactly like where Remy runs along the river in Ratatouille (somehow she is unable to locate a photo of that).

Pretty bridge.

How would you like to live there?


Smell the romance! Or is that the river?

Walkway beside the river.