Thursday, January 29, 2009

Serenity Now!

Statistic: the average Gordita makes 4 Seinfeld references per 10 minute conversation.*

What is it about that show that spans time and place? Watching and recalling episodes brings me so much joy. Here are my top 17 Seinfeld references:

1. Serenity now.
2. That changes everything!
3. You know I always wanted to pretend I was an architect.
4. Festivus for the rest of us and It's a festivus miracle.
5. Good naked and bad naked.
6. A big salad.
7. Dr. Van Nostrand.
8. Art Vandelay.
9. You know how to take the reservation; you just don't know how to hold the reservation.
10. It's been red flagged.
11. They write it off.
12. It will always be Burma to me.
13. Yada yada yada.
14. Full bodied dry heave set to music.
15. They're all pipes.
16. Who does not want to wear the rrribbon?
17. Pimple Popper, MD.

* Statistic may be exaggerated for effect.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

What a piece of peace.

I'm at peace. I've been around long enough to know that with me peace is fleeting. I'm far too fickle to actually stay feeling peaceful for very long. But right now, at this moment in time, I feel at peace--with work, home life, my progression (I feel at peace being a work in progress, which is not always the case), everything. I feel like I have a clear purpose, a defined path, which is comforting and refreshing. I don't know how long this peace will last, but I am savoring it while I can.

On another note, the 3 lbs lost in last week's vomiting debacle are back in full force. Sigh... I was miserable for nothing. I suppose I'm NOT at peace about that. Oh the irony...

On yet another note, I made a goal this week to wear a different pair of shoes each day because I typically wear the same black heels every day because I keep them at work, and they are sensible and fairly comfortable and if I wear the same ones every day I don't have to put forth much effort. But, I took those shoes home to polish, and I have been too lazy to polish them, so I have decided that I enjoy this week without my comfortable fall-back pair of black heels. And so far, so good. It turns out, I have great shoes, that I love. Wow! Yesterday: Lulu. Today: Steve Madden Lydia. Tomorrow: the possibilities are endless!

Ahh... Peace.

Thursday, January 22, 2009


In my sickened stupor, I watched a lot of TV. So much so, that if I watch another episode of Clean House, I am going to do something drastic. (I paused for half a minute trying to think of something drastic that might be kind of funny too, but I couldn't think of anything. Sorry.)

I did catch something interesting that has had me laughing to myself for the last few days. The Colbert Report had on Anthony Romero from the ACLU, who said (right around minute 3:00) speaking of President George W. Bush, that he was "the worst president in eight long years." True, so true. But while we're on the subject of superlatives with which we are comparing one person to themselves, couldn't we also say that GWB is the best president in eight long years, and the president with the greatest smile in the last eight years, and the president who was most likely to succeed in the last eight years? Being that he was the only president we had in the last eight years, it makes for easy comparison.

Also, four years from now, won't we be able to say that Obama was the president in the last four years that had the best school spirit, was the best athlete, best dressed, and was the class clown?

I like this whole comparison against one. If I compare myself to, well, myself, I win! I have the plumpest lips of anyone sitting in my chair right now. I am also the best smelling person using this computer. I have the best personality, the corniest laugh, and the best build of ANYONE named Gordita who contributes to this blog.

So remember folks: if you want a good comparison, don't bother including other people in your sample; that makes things too confusing. Just compare one thing to itself.

Monday, January 19, 2009

How to lose 3 lbs in 1 day!

I have the secret, though I wouldn't recommend it: get a stomach bug which doesn't allow you to keep anything down, not even Powerade. And losing these three pounds puts me 1.5 pounds away from my goal weight. Wow! So there's the secret folks.

Now that I'm feeling better (weak, but able to drink Powerade and eat saltines), all I want is some of the healing goodness of McDonald's Chicken McNuggets dipped in honey. I'm not sure of the origin of this "need" but when I'm not feeling good all I want are chicken mcnuggets. The sad thing is that our car is in the shop, and there are no McDonald's within walking distance (not that I could walk there anyway). Sad. So sad.

So I'm whining about not being able to get my nuggets and honey when there are worse things that I could be going through. With that realization I'll end it there.

The secret to rapid weight loss is unpleasant and not healthy, but losing 3 pounds in one day is possible. Keeping it off is a whole different story.

Friday, January 9, 2009

Don't we all need a hero?

This is another of TC's and my favorites. This song is best listened to in the car while you're driving down the freeway. TC usually takes the drums and I take the back-up singers, but sometimes we switch it up for an even better time. My favorite part of this video is the dancing/shoulder shimmies and intense gazes at the camera performed by the angel ladies in the very beginning. Enjoy.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Things are looking up

Yesterday was a bad day. Well, the first part of yesterday was a bad day, until TC gave me a priesthood blessing. What a miracle the priesthood is! That blessing was like a humongous Prozac for my spirits. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. My situation is not going to change just yet, however the load will be made lighter. And it already has. Thank you, expansive void, for listening to my woes.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

What's a girl to do?

Why is it, that when you're the most unsuspecting, thinking all is tranquil in your life, that anxiety creeps in? Why was it that this weekend I found myself having to take a lot of deep breaths? Has anything changed? Not significantly. Do I still have a handle on what's going on around me? I thought I did, until I started feeling anxious. What would I do without medication?

I've been working at my job for 6 years. It's rewarding and challenging and exhausting and stressful and I'm done. Or at least I want to be done. I never thought I'd work here this long, and yet 6, almost 7, years later here I am, plugging along each day. Gone are the days where I was excited to come in to work and looking forward to the challenges that my job might bring me. I'm tired. It's mundane. The challenges are annoying. The stressfulness gets on my nerves. The exhausting nature of the work makes me want to stay in bed each morning. But it's been a long while that I've felt this way about my job. Nothing changed over the weekend. But, could this be the source of my anxiety?

So, what's a girl to do? I know that I need to buckle down and ask my Heavenly Father what He would have me do. But what if He wants me to do something I don't want to do? Then what? I know He's just waiting to guide me, and yet I resist. Could this be the source of my anxiety?

Someday I'll figure this life thing out and my "stressful" job will seem like cake, and I'll be doing things more challenging and I'll wish I could have it easy like I did back in the day. Couldn't I just learn to enjoy things the way they are? Is that so unrealistic? Could THIS be the source of my anxiety?

Well, thanks for listening. It's been therapeutic. Work is calling and I've got to go.