Why is it, that when you're the most unsuspecting, thinking all is tranquil in your life, that anxiety creeps in? Why was it that this weekend I found myself having to take a lot of deep breaths? Has anything changed? Not significantly. Do I still have a handle on what's going on around me? I thought I did, until I started feeling anxious. What would I do without medication?
I've been working at my job for 6 years. It's rewarding and challenging and exhausting and stressful and I'm done. Or at least I want to be done. I never thought I'd work here this long, and yet 6, almost 7, years later here I am, plugging along each day. Gone are the days where I was excited to come in to work and looking forward to the challenges that my job might bring me. I'm tired. It's mundane. The challenges are annoying. The stressfulness gets on my nerves. The exhausting nature of the work makes me want to stay in bed each morning. But it's been a long while that I've felt this way about my job. Nothing changed over the weekend. But, could this be the source of my anxiety?
So, what's a girl to do? I know that I need to buckle down and ask my Heavenly Father what He would have me do. But what if He wants me to do something I don't want to do? Then what? I know He's just waiting to guide me, and yet I resist. Could this be the source of my anxiety?
Someday I'll figure this life thing out and my "stressful" job will seem like cake, and I'll be doing things more challenging and I'll wish I could have it easy like I did back in the day. Couldn't I just learn to enjoy things the way they are? Is that so unrealistic? Could THIS be the source of my anxiety?
Well, thanks for listening. It's been therapeutic. Work is calling and I've got to go.