Sunday, November 8, 2009


I had a coworker who said random things that made me laugh even when she wasn't trying to be funny, like the time she got frustrated with the printer and yelled "I HATE MY LIFE." And then there was the time she exclaimed in frustration, "WHY am I so RETARDED?" Or the time she asked me if she should tell someone on the phone that he was S.O.L. Yeah, she made me laugh, but my favorite is "I HATE MY LIFE," maybe because there are times I think it, but I don't often say it loud enough for my coworkers to hear.

I've seen on other people's blogs things like "We're loving life," "Our adorable little children keep us on our toes," "We have been married for 5 blissful years," and "We enjoy every minute that life has to offer us." Is this optimism? Is it lies? Are these euphemisms for how they really feel? Or is it flat out the truth? I have a hard time believing that it is 100% the truth, because for me it's not. Generally, I think my life is good, and I know I'm blessed. But honestly, I don't always feel blessed. And honestly, I DON'T enjoy every minute life has to offer me.

So if I was to write a bio to match those super optimistic bloggers, here's my first crack (this was really hard since being so SO happy doesn't exactly come naturally to me):

"We are Gordita and TC, and we have been best friends and lovers for nine wonderfully blissful years. We have so much fun every day between our awesome jobs, going out with our super awesome friends, and experiencing what our fantastic lives have to offer. We haven't been blessed with little souls to raise yet, so there is an empty spot in our hearts and home. We hope to fill that void with small animals if the whole children thing doesn't work out. We love our life and enjoy every moment together. Nice nice nice. Wonderful wonderful wonderful. Bliss bliss bliss. The end."

Here's the reality:

"We are Gordita and TC, and we have been married for nine years, at least three of which were complete crap and we'd never wish to relive them again. We enjoy being married now. We enjoy fun, and would like to have more fun. We don't have children yet, and sometimes that sucks. We travel. We play video games. We watch too much TV. We tease each other a lot. We enjoy most of our time together. The end. Oh, and also, we don't really like small animals."

So I guess I fall somewhere in the middle. I don't 100% love my life, and I certainly don't 100% hate my life (although if you caught me on the wrong day, I might tell you otherwise).

What I wonder about those people who say they love their life is are they:
1. Optimists and truly do love their life?
2. Liars?
3. Want to put on a pretty face for the public?
4. Delusional?
5. Looking at the bigger picture and ignoring the small, less desirable details?

I'm cynical, I realize this. I have hope that someday I'll get to the point that I can look back on my life and say, "Yeah, it was pretty awesome." But I think it's unlikely that I'll ever have the perspective needed to look at my current circumstances and say, "Yeah, it's the best. I LOVE my life 100%." I do have HOPE that perhaps one day in the distant future, if I apply myself and work hard at it, I'll be that person. But if I ever become that person, I don't think I'll write on my blog about it. I just don't think I'll ever be THAT person.

What about you all? Do you love your life? Do you hate it? Are you somewhere in between? How do you feel when you read about other people's awesome lives? Do you feel envious when you read about my super awesome life and just wish you were me because of all the non-stop fun I have? *cough*


  1. I think that people who say they love their lives are probably doing all 5 things. I've been thinking of doing a post on this subject. Now I think I actually will:)

  2. Oh, and one other thing. Quite often I read your blog and feel a little jealous. A little jealous that you don't have kids yet and can spend money how you want. You can travel and play video games instead of having to budget for diapers and toddler clothes and you don't have to stay at home because you don't want to spend $40 on a babysitter. And you get quality conversations with your spouse instead of being interrupted by screaming, whining, or Mommy Mommy Mommy! And you can buy and wear sexy heels because you're not chasing a 2 year old across the sandbox. And you can clean your apartment and not watch it fall apart within minutes. And you can complete tasks because you're not interrupted by fighting, needy babies, or 4 year olds who need a glass of milk. I guess we both have green grass on our sides of the fence. We just can't see the brown patches in each others' lawns.

  3. Thanks Kim. Honestly your green grass is adorable with those amazing good citizens you're raising. And you're pretty awesome yourself.

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  5. You have done a pretty good job at summing up what I think about the subject. I think people may have a good life, but also are putting up a all is well in happy valley act. And sometimes I wonder if those are the ones who in reality hate their lives. Or maybe not. I don't want to call myself a pessimist, but more of a realist. And when I hear the overly positive, it pisses me off. :)
    LOVE your posts by the way. All of them. I like to read your deep, and silly, and non sense, and everything posts.

  6. I don't enjoy every minute of my life :) But I do enjoy reading your blog! And while I think I do tend to only put happier things on my blog, in hopes that perhaps that will help me be more optimistic, I certainly do not think my life is pure bliss.

    I did enjoy your admitting that you do not like small animals. Made me laugh.

  7. AMEN! I don't love life all that often either.

  8. hmmm... where to start... first of all (I've said it before and yet I will say it again here) I love your writing style. I think you are pretty great, yourself, and the fact that I like to read what you write is a double bonus. :)

    If you look at my blog, I believe that (objectively speaking) my blog would be "guilty" of over-optimism or diagnosed with severe happy valley-itis. Having thus concluded, I will now attempt to answer your rhetorically posted questions from this side of the tracks:

    1. Am I an optimist who truly loves my life? As a general rule, I tend to be a "glass half full" type of person but realistically speaking my glass more often than not is a paper cup because my kids can't break those although they frequently do dump out the water leaving me a huge mess to clean and no time to blog about how much it bothers me that I am cleaning up my optimism off of the floor for the umpteenth time in the day.

    2. Am I a liar? I try not to be but sometimes for fun I like to speak in hyperbole just to mix things up a bit.

    3.Do I want to put on a pretty face for public? Most of the time I would like to but it is hard to claim "pretty" when I wear my hair in a ponytail and I am covered in baby vomit (not to mention the extra baby weight that I can't seem to find the time to get to the gym to lose).

    4. Delusional? I prefer the term "sleep deprived"

    5.Bigger picture and ignoring smaller details? I do tend to be rather forgetful these days but that is probably due to the sleep deprivation.

    So why doesn't all of this juicy reality make its way onto my blog? I think mainly because when I don't have the energy to write the delicious ironies of life in a way that doesn't come across like a suicide plea. Do I love my life? Sometimes. Or hate my life? Sometimes. Most of the time it is just easier to post a bunch of pictures of happy children having lots of fun with the magical rosy ponies of childhood and it is through that lens the general public views my blog.

    Some day I will post something about how I am typing this comment to the backdrop of a two year old watching Elmo (who drives me crazy but my two year old seems to love him and will watch for a minute thereby giving me a moment to type until he dumps his cereal down my outfit that I already had to change once today because my baby had a diaper explosion all over the first one). Not to mention that same said baby who is overly tired but yet will not just go to sleep and would rather cry about how tired he is rather than sleep. But that will all have to be a story for another day because right now I am in the process of downloading a bunch of happy, smiling children to my blog just to remind me that they are charming, darling little people at some moments of life...

    and yes, I confess, I do envy your life at times... who wouldn't with a collection of awesome shoes as you have?!?

  9. Angela, thank you for your response! Seriously. I laughed at least eight different times while reading it (delusional=sleep deprived, funny stuff). But more than the laughs, you provide some great perspective: if you have limited time, what are you going to share? The happy, or the not so happy? Also, I hadn't thought that perhaps only sharing the positive is a form of therapy for the one sharing. It's good to remember in the craziness of everything that there are positives. Thanks for the thoughts everyone.

  10. I'm ready to pop with twins so now is not the time to ask me if I love/hate my life. But I've got to admit that I probably do hide a little bit of the negativism on my blog because I don't want people to think I'm a totally horrible person who hates everything and everyone. But I do speak my mind and my blog is like my journal so it does sometimes come out. I do try to be positive at times though in hopes that I will actually believe that positiveness sometimes. But I totally agree with you.

  11. I think most people who blog are optimistic liars who are completely delusional and want to put on a fabulous face for the public.

    So, I guess that would be numbers 1 through 4.

    The rest of us probably just need to up our medication!

    Love reading your blog.

  12. So Sarah Bauer asked on her last post if she should continue blogging. if we wanted her to continue to leave a comment. but that entry did not have a "comment" to click to to make one!! so i wrote on her second to last entry that she should continue.. but i dont think she saw it. and now it's too late!! they deleted their blog! My only connection to them! So sad!
    I loved reading their blog.
    If you talk to her, tell her we want her back!

  13. I would like to point out that your fake bio looks quite a bit like my real one. hahaha! So I guess I'm one of those you're talking about. Since I know you know that I read your blog, I certainly won't be taking it personally.
    But in response here are my thoughts.:
    1. For me writing cements my thoughts and feelings. I hate to be cemented in my own negativity. I do well enough on my own.
    2. Dumb or not, I do believe a little bit of ignoring the bad is good for me.
    3. In case anyone's wondering yes we do have hard lives sometimes and we are blissfully married, we are lucky to have a new baby and it wasn't long ago that we didn't know if we'd ever be married or be able to have a kid. So when life is hard we try (and sometimes succeed) to remind ourselves how lucky we are to have the trials that we do. For years we longed and prayed for the opportunity to have these trials.
    Also, we killed one of our small animals. The dog is still here but she stinks. Literally. Someone please come give her a bath.
    Loves! LJ

  14. 3/5, if you ask me. I worry that if I don't write happy-go-lucky, or at least really amusing, blog posts that no one will read what I have to say. I worry that no one really cares if I'm honest and say "You know, yesterday I spent a lot of the day upset because I realized that I am definitely going to die, and it could happen tomorrow, and if it does I haven't done anything!" (Yeah, yesterday was sort of a long day.) I worry that if I'm honest about the fact that I'm worried about whether or not I can have kids, then people will give me advice. And then I will "accidentally" call some of them stupid. I worry that if I mention anything about my marriage my parents will call me and make me feel guilty for "airing dirty laundry." I worry that I will sound whiny, stupid, childish, and lame, and then no one will read my blog and along with feeling that I am all of those things I will also feel like a big fat loser.

    Oddly I'll say all of those things publicly, on your blog.

    Part of it is, I think, the idea that we're all chosen and special and so lucky and blessed that we feel like we're somehow telling the world that those things aren't as true if we complain. Which is silly, because you can believe that you've personally made covenants with Jesus Christ and God and still have stupid bosses and cold apartments and rough times in your marriage. And we should say those things so that we all stop feeling so alone and loser-ish for having problems.

    But not liking small animals? Keep that stuff to yourself.


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