I had a coworker who said random things that made me laugh even when she wasn't trying to be funny, like the time she got frustrated with the printer and yelled "I HATE MY LIFE." And then there was the time she exclaimed in frustration, "WHY am I so RETARDED?" Or the time she asked me if she should tell someone on the phone that he was S.O.L. Yeah, she made me laugh, but my favorite is "I HATE MY LIFE," maybe because there are times I think it, but I don't often say it loud enough for my coworkers to hear.
I've seen on other people's blogs things like "We're loving life," "Our adorable little children keep us on our toes," "We have been married for 5 blissful years," and "We enjoy every minute that life has to offer us." Is this optimism? Is it lies? Are these euphemisms for how they really feel? Or is it flat out the truth? I have a hard time believing that it is 100% the truth, because for me it's not. Generally, I think my life is good, and I know I'm blessed. But honestly, I don't always feel blessed. And honestly, I DON'T enjoy every minute life has to offer me.
So if I was to write a bio to match those super optimistic bloggers, here's my first crack (this was really hard since being so SO happy doesn't exactly come naturally to me):
"We are Gordita and TC, and we have been best friends and lovers for nine wonderfully blissful years. We have so much fun every day between our awesome jobs, going out with our super awesome friends, and experiencing what our fantastic lives have to offer. We haven't been blessed with little souls to raise yet, so there is an empty spot in our hearts and home. We hope to fill that void with small animals if the whole children thing doesn't work out. We love our life and enjoy every moment together. Nice nice nice. Wonderful wonderful wonderful. Bliss bliss bliss. The end."
Here's the reality:
"We are Gordita and TC, and we have been married for nine years, at least three of which were complete crap and we'd never wish to relive them again. We enjoy being married now. We enjoy fun, and would like to have more fun. We don't have children yet, and sometimes that sucks. We travel. We play video games. We watch too much TV. We tease each other a lot. We enjoy most of our time together. The end. Oh, and also, we don't really like small animals."
So I guess I fall somewhere in the middle. I don't 100% love my life, and I certainly don't 100% hate my life (although if you caught me on the wrong day, I might tell you otherwise).
What I wonder about those people who say they love their life is are they:
1. Optimists and truly do love their life?
3. Want to put on a pretty face for the public?
5. Looking at the bigger picture and ignoring the small, less desirable details?
I'm cynical, I realize this. I have hope that someday I'll get to the point that I can look back on my life and say, "Yeah, it was pretty awesome." But I think it's unlikely that I'll ever have the perspective needed to look at my current circumstances and say, "Yeah, it's the best. I LOVE my life 100%." I do have HOPE that perhaps one day in the distant future, if I apply myself and work hard at it, I'll be that person. But if I ever become that person, I don't think I'll write on my blog about it. I just don't think I'll ever be THAT person.
What about you all? Do you love your life? Do you hate it? Are you somewhere in between? How do you feel when you read about other people's awesome lives? Do you feel envious when you read about my super awesome life and just wish you were me because of all the non-stop fun I have? *cough*