Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Literally

I'm freezing my butt off. Literally.

Just kidding. It's only figurative. Wouldn't it be nice if all it took was being cold to lose some backside bulk? I wish.

I'm so hungry I could eat a horse. Literally.

Not really. I'm not into horse meat.

I'm so tired I could sleep for days. Literally.

If only I didn't have to take bathroom breaks every so often. Or eat (see above). Darn those basic needs.

I've been working my butt off. Literally.

Again, I wish. It's only figurative, and not even true at that. I haven't been all that focused lately. Mind is scattered. Body is tired. Want to curl up under a blanket. Want to play Rock Band until the wee hours of the morning. Want to rock and roll all night and party every day.

Shoe of the day: wait for it... FLATS! O.M.Gosh.

I'm wearing sweater tights today because I'm turning blue (figuratively) with cold. And what goes better with sweater tights (or sock pants as my 3 year old niece calls them) than little girl shoes? It wasn't really a fashion choice so much as it was an admission that I'm just so tired that I'm not sure if I can safely walk in high heels right now (literally).

Shoe facts: Mudd Eden. Black, all man made materials. Bought them to wear to work when I sprained my ankle on Easter Sunday, 2008. How did I sprain my ankle? I was elegantly *coughyeahrightcough* walking down the stairs in my building, hurrying to church, wearing sensible shoes *coughyeahrightcough* when I lost my footing and I fell forward, twisting my ankle into the weirdest of positions. Literally. Thinking it was a minor injury I toughened up, convinced the concerned Huz that I was fine, and we walked to church. Sitting through the first meeting was excruciating because of the pain (and for other, attitudinal reasons). To make a long story longer, I pulled TC out of his meeting, he ran home and got the car, drove to church to get me, drove me home, got me changed into non-Easter clothes, propped up my foot with pillows on the couch, made sure I had the TV remote and PS3 controller nearby, got me a glass of water and some ibuprofen, and ran back to church. What a committed fellow! We went to the doctor the next day, or the same day, I can't remember. I got a neat looking *coughyeahrightcough* brace to wear around my swollen ankle, and was told to stay off the heels for a while. I was dumbstruck. Literally (when is that not true, ha). So we went shopping for flats I could wear to work that were wide enough to fit the brace. We found these. What a long story only to justify why I have flats.

Interestingly (not literally) I have a gel insole in these shoes. So bouncy. Literally. Not figuratively.

Finally, I'll leave you with this thought: My throat is on fire. You decide if it's figurative or literal.

2 comments:

  1. O.M. Gosh - you are seriously killing me. Not literally. You make me laugh so hard. Even though I haven't seen you in forever I can totally see you saying those things. Thank you for always making me smile! P.S. I would totally play rock Band until the wee hours of the morning, too.

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