Grow!! BLOOM!!

I've had this gardenia plant since late summer, and still it has not bloomed. And I'm sick of it. Seriously. BLOOM! I am willing you to grow flowers and smell fragrant and be lovely! But no, all you do is sit there and be green, which is lovely, but not lovely enough for me. You just don't measure up.

This plant couldn't even bloom for my birthday. Why I make up these extravagant and unrealistic birthday miracle wishes that never come true leaving me with disappointment, I'll never quite understand. But I got it in my head that it would be lovely if this plant, by some miracle, knew it was my birthday and bloomed. But it didn't. And can you blame it?

Wikipedia tells me that it's a tropical plant that loves humidity. I live in a desert, which is drier in the winter, and I had the plant across from the heating vent, which kept it nice and dry. I watered it every time I remembered, which was whenever I walked into the room it was in and saw that it was drooping and near death. I did my part. *cough*

Okay, so maybe I don't deserve to see this plant flower with the way I've "cared" for it. But I love gardenias more than any other flower in the whole world. Would it kill this plant to bloom in unlikely conditions earlier than is typical?

It keeps teasing me with these little buds.








I think, "Oooh, this could be the one that flowers." But it grows into a stupid new leaf. Stupid new leaves...

Just bloom and grow forever, little plant. If you do, I promise I will be fleetingly happy, for at least the life of your flower. Then I will likely forget that you exist and only water you when TC reminds me that you are near death. Please? For me?