- My right thumbnail is torn pretty deep. I keep a band-aid on it constantly to make sure the rest of the nail doesn't snag on anything and rip off prematurely. I injured myself when moving a garbage can approximately three feet. I picked it up, it slipped, and my nail ripped.
- My left index finger has an inflamed hang nail. I don't know how or why this happened. So I have a band-aid on it to keep it clean.
- My right ring finger was injured yesterday in a freak accident involving a 2" binder. I was moving it from one shelf to another, and SHAZAM, some random metal piece of the binder sliced a little V shaped hole in my finger tip. So I've got a band-aid on that, just to keep it clean, and because it hurts.
- My left third and fourth knuckles have little burn marks. I burned them getting toast out of the toaster on Friday, and the burns are still bothering me. They are not bandaged because knuckles are impossible to bandage.
- I have random bruises on my legs right now, and really just in general. I think I must bump into furniture without noticing. Or I notice, but then I forget by the time a bruise shows up.
If you look at my hands, I look like a mess. Maybe the rest of me looks like a mess too. I don't know. But my hands for sure. Why am I constantly injuring myself? I don't understand it. Am I clumsy? Careless? Subconsciously sabotaging myself due to a deep seated self hatred? Making excuses for an abusive family member, like "Oh this black eye? Yeah, uhhh, I fell down the stairs."
Looking back on my most recent "serious" injuries, they have all resulted in some traumatic bandaging. I sprained my ankle two years ago and had to wear a conspicuous brace, which was white and contrasted sharply with the black tights/pantyhose I typically wear to work. I fell off my bike and scraped up my hands and wrists, which had to be bandaged with white gauze that TC so lovingly wrapped me up in every morning. I had some warts removed (gross I know) last summer, and had to have my foot wrapped up in ace bandages for over a month. Showering during all of these times was tricky (except for the sprained ankle) and involved some form of plastic wrap.
Sigh. Things could be worse, I know. But, when my injuries are self-inflicted, I start to think, "Hey, Gordita. Stop hurting yourself." You know what I mean?